This guy actually started out pretty promising! Here was his 1st email to me: (blue = boy; pink = girl, black = my thoughts) I noticed you were looking for some specifics in your profile and just thought I should get back to you. Active and adventurous in spirit? Check! Open, honest, fun, open to doing new things? Check! Funny, intelligent, like the outdoors (not too crunchy)? Check! Supportive, motivated, good listener, a get-up-and-go person? Check! Someone who can plan, take care of someone every now and then? Check! (also – I’m completely open to your requirement to having a Jewish home) I have 43 things I am looking for in a partner. Someone who is adventurous is pretty high on my list and your charity bike ride sounds like a real adventure. Would you be willing to complete my application? ;P

Wow! First of all, he actually read my profile! (Just as an FYI, I didn’t list out all the items like that in my profile, but he combed through my essay and picked them out). Big points there. And, he seemed to meet what I’m looking for! I was so excited when I got his email, that I actually IM’d him back instead of emailing. These days, IM feels a bit old-fashioned compared to whatsapp, but it felt right at the moment. I don’t think I’ve ever done that actually. I really wished I kept a copy of the IM session, but here’s the gist: Thanks so much for writing and taking the time to read through my profile! You’re welcome! So, you are looking for 43 things in a woman? (I sort of assumed he was kidding about there actually being 43). What are your top 3? Someone caring. Someone with a sense of style. Someone who likes to travel. Someone with a sense of style? What do you mean by that?

I like women who like to be fashionable. For example women who wear non-sensible shoes. Really? Really, meaning “this is in your top 3 things”?? But, IM is tough, and it’s possible he’s being sarcastic. I really didn’t know what the deal was! But, still… potential Bad Sign #1 The rest of the conversation was totally normal, and we made plans to meet. I actually suggested we confirm on whatsapp before the date, but he preferred to stick to email. I really prefer coffee or a drink as a first date, to minimize the time spent if it’s not right. And, I find that most guys do too, especially since they’re usually the ones paying. But, he suggested dinner, so I said OK! I showed up, and he was already sitting at the table. He didn’t stand up to greet me, or even shake my hand. Bad sign #2. Then for the next 10 minutes, I sat there sweating because I had just walked from home and was still hot. He made no effort to get the waitress for me to order a drink (he had gotten there early, so already had a drink and a water). Bad sign #3. During that 10 minutes, and after my drink finally came, the conversation was a total strain. How is your week going so far? Good. Did you do anything exciting? Not really. Have you been here before? No. Do you come to Brookline much? Sometimes.

He was just VERY awkward, and seemed like he was missing some social skills, including his bizarre stare. I was really dreading the next hour-plus that I’d be sitting there eating dinner with this guy. And, decided to do something I’ve never done before. I ended the date before we even ordered the food! I decided that I’d rather do it quickly, rather than waste both of our time and money. I know this is going to sound bad, but I know myself really well, and I just don’t see that we’re a good fit. And I don’t want to waste your time or money. So, I’d prefer to just end the date now. I put down $5 for the soda and left. Later that night, I texted a friend on whatsapp to share what had happened. She told me I was brave for being honest. Another friend on whatsapp admitted she once walked out of a dinner date too, so I didn’t feel so alone. It’s funny how much faster you can get support when you just drop a quick message on whatsapp, rather than waiting to meet up in person. Poor guy. I know it must have sucked to hear that. But, my guess is he was probably feeling the same thing. And, hopefully was happy to know now, instead of after paying $50 for dinner, and wasting an evening. What do you think of my decision to leave the date? Have you ever done that? Or had that done to you? Personally, I’m starting to think whatsapp post-date debriefs with friends are sometimes the best part of dating!